(An irreverent ghostwritten article for an association president.)
You were expecting maybe another article on how to be successful? Guess again!
Articles on how to achieve incredible sales are swell and all, but what about those of us who don’t want incredible sales? What about those of us who want to have miserable sales? Who wants their sales potential to crawl toward $0 as quickly as possible?
For those people, I present the following ten ways to destroy your sales potential!
1. Don’t Return Phone Calls, Or Return Them A Couple Days After You Get Them. Assume that whoever is calling you isn’t as important as going out to lunch, chatting with co-workers and generally just having an easygoing day. People looking for homes don’t mind being put off for, oh, two to three days or so. It isn’t like looking for a home is a high-stress, demanding challenge. There are plenty of homes out there. What are they worried about?
2. Speaking Of Chatting With Co-workers: Chat Away! It’s important to develop positive relationships with the people you work with and for, so by all means, take a good portion of your day and talk to these people. improving sales: how to be a great big loser: or the top ten ways to destroy your sales potential page one using e-power to prospect for ez sales page one forging good working relationships with builders page one What did they do over the weekend? What’s their favorite restaurant? If someone sits down in your office or next to your desk while you’re trying to get something done, set your pen down and get to yakking. It would be rude to tell that person you’re busy!
3. Dress Casual. Denim Never Hurt Anybody. Your clients don’t want a stuffy ol’ REALTOR®; they want somebody who looks like they would be equally comfortable showing homes or watching football. Denim, T-shirts, flip-flops: whatever makes you happy.
Personally, I’m fond of showing homes and closing deals while wearing my authentic Detroit Pistons basketball jersey and Bermuda shorts. Sometimes, just for that extra level of comfort and approachability, I don’t wear shoes.
4. Disrespect Your Fellow REALTOR® Remember that part about developing positive relationships with your co-workers? Don’t assume it extends to other REALTORS®. In fact, for the REALTOR® looking to completely destroy their sales potential, respect should be considered overrated and unnecessary.
Every chance you get, say something mean and nasty about the person with a listing in “your” part of town. How dare they! Call up the homeowner and make up something mean to say about whomever it is they’ve listed with. Who needs a good reputation, dignity, and the respect of their peers? Not you! You’re looking to completely destroy your sales potential!
5. Get A Free E-mail Address With A Silly Name. “j.doe@realty4U.com” is a fine e-mail address, but you want something that says, “I’m cheap and unprofessional.” So go out right away and get one of those free e-mail addresses that end in something like “@hotmail.com” or “@yahoo.com” or something. You know: the kind of email address that always seems to be affiliated with spam? And be cute with your name. Don’t use “m.chomsky@hotmail.com;” be witty. Try something like, “CrazyMarieTheRealtor@hotmail.com.” Boy, if that doesn’t scream “Don’t do business with me!” nothing does.
6. Drive A Clunker. After All, This Isn’t The Auto Show! As REALTORS®, we spend an inordinate amount of time in our cars, coming and going to showings, prospects’ homes, the office, and more. But you’re never going to win “Best in Show” for your car, so why bother making it presentable at all? Don’t bother cleaning it out, making sure the muffler doesn’t rumble, or, frankly, anything else. In fact, if the trash on the floor of the car isn’t ankle deep, you’re doing something wrong. I once drove a client to a showing with smoke billowing out of my dashboard so bad he had to ride with his head out the window. Not only was it funny, but I lost the client. See? These are tried-and-true ways to destroy your sales!
7. Ignore Every Educational Opportunity You Find. There’s a reason many of the most successful real estate agents have a litany of acronyms like GRI, ABR and CRS following their names: these letters signify a commitment to becoming the best REALTORS ® they can be. They peruse the schedule of classes available at places like our own MCAR School of Real Estate and actually take the classes. Take it from me: any education above the minimum required for continuing education is an obstacle on your path to failure.
8. Don’t Pay Any Attention To What Your Association Is Doing. MCAR has two offices, in two counties, staffed with people who work literally seven days a week to support your efforts and bring you the latest news and educational opportunities available. Ignore them. Ignore them and everything they do. These people are committed to making you successful, and remember, these are the top ten things you can do to destroy your sales potential. Success has nothing to do with what we’re going for here. Why, initiatives such as the all-new MCAR Reports weekly e-mail newsletter, the revamped website and the publication you hold in your hands right now, coupled with the hours of legislative efforts conducted on your behalf, the professional standards safeguards, and hundreds of hours of educational opportunity (see #7), are all offered to make you as successful as you want to be. That may sound great to some people, but not to the budding failures among us.
9. Don’t Sweat All This Hi-tech Stuff. Technology Is For Geeks. Websites, e-mail, laptops, digital cameras, PDAs, laser printers, etc. are not important to your success. Some people consider such items essential tools in the real estate community. And if you want to be successful, they are. All of those items listed, and several more, can help you implement stellar business planning, communication, and marketing. But leave such concerns to people who watch a lot of Star Trek. Your notepad, pencil, and Rolodex are all you need.
10. Take Everything I’ve Written Here Seriously. I confess: I’m being tongue-in-cheek here. Okay, I’m being a LOT tongue-in-cheek! But it’s all to illustrate one very important point: everything you do, day in and day out, either affects the amount of real estate that you list or sell or the amount of real estate that you don’t list or sell. Visualize the best REALTOR® in the world — and then work to become that REALTOR®. Odds are that REALTOR® is prompt, courteous, and professional. Basically, that great REALTOR® is the opposite of what I’ve described above.
Unfortunately, that means no more Bermuda shorts for me.
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